This is the one year anniversary of my new name. There is freedom in becoming who I always felt I was. I don't know if it was the actual name change or becoming a Meyers. I have never felt connected to my name, especially not my married name, so I wonder if that's why I have always struggled with who I am. 

 I have never fit in anywhere or with anyone. The one person who I fit neatly with, I managed to destroy that relationship because of my foolish actions. I know I can blame the asshole, but I took part in it. It was still early enough on that I could have walked away.  I miss my best friend.

 I still don't know who I am or what I want to be, but is for sure not what my life became over the last 30 years.